Helena Does Internet Dating

As you know I'm a 40-year old single woman. I have never been married and I have no kids. There have been boyfriends and as times have gone by they have become younger and younger whilst I'm getting older. My ex-boyfriend was 12 years younger than me and we were together over a year. I never noticed the age difference between us. And truth to be told, had he asked me to marry him I would have said yes. Unfortunately the relationship ended but not because of the age difference. No, it ended because he lives in Buenos Aires (and tried but never got another work contract in Europe) and I, of course, live in London. I have never had a problem with dating a younger guy but I do have this little nagging voice in my head saying that society thinks it's wrong. And who wants to be wrong? Well, I don't.

I don't mind being single and I'm lucky not to feel desperate to find someone and consequently grab the first one that comes along. But I do admit that it would be nice to meet The One. And since The One is nowhere to be found in bars in London (and quite frankly I am nowhere to be found in bars in London either nowadays) I had to think of somewhere else to meet him - how about a dating website?! Everyone seems to be doing the internet dating nowadays so I was prepared to give it a go. This was back in September last year. I very quickly realised that this wasn't my thing. I got loads of winks and e-mails from guys but it felt like they all were sending them out in masses and whoever replied would be a bonus. I, on the other hand, took time to read guys profiles and only winked at two who seemed interesting. One of them turned out to be a 44-year old man who had his own business, his own flat (with a roof garden, mind you!), had never been married and had no kids. What a catch! We chatted on MSN a couple of times but nothing came out of it. So I was quite surprised when he turned up again nine months later. To be honest with you I had forgotten who he was and thought some stalker had got hold of my e-mail address and I didn't reply. When I had racked my brains and been able to place him curiosity took over and I decided to chat to him again.

We'd been chatting quite a few times and he seemed pretty normal so before I went to Sweden I suggested we'd meet up when I got back. He seemed keen. Then when I returned I thought it was his turn to bring the subject up. Well, it never happened. Because on Saturday when we were having another chat he confided in me that he'd been talking to a couple who wanted him to strip for them and that he'd seriously entertained the idea. (Oh my God!). He then said things like: "I couldn't go through with it ALONE" and "It's difficult to be wild ON YOUR OWN". And that's when it hit me that this guy was not looking for someone to settle down with and have a cosy, romantic family life. Oh no, this guy was sussing out whether or not I was up for some SWINGING!!! (click the link)

I nearly fainted! My heart started racing as I realised that the person I was chatting to (and who had just minutes before wanted us to switch on the web cams which I rejected, pheww) was as a matter of fact a bit of a perv. I replied something along the lines of: "I've never understood couples who want others to join in" and he must have got the very clear message because he then started talking about buying a boat.

Guess what, ladies and gents... I'm over my worries of what society might think of relationships where the woman is older than the man. I'd much rather go out with a young, not-messed-up guy who is not looking for weird kicks because he's bored out of his brains. Never again a 40+ man! I'm frightened, traumatised, scarred even :-)

And let's face it. If Demi and Ashton can do it.. then so can I.