Giving and Receiving

I fell out with another therapist a week ago. It's someone I met on a massage course and it turned out that we were working in the same clinic but on different days. It's Robert. I'm not even going to try and protect his privacy. Not after what he said to me!!!

Robert is a therapist and he also writes and teaches his own courses. He's been known to attend the shortest courses himself to quickly gain a certificate and then he goes on to teach. Personally I'm against this fast-tracking and make-money-quick-mentality but it's not really any of my business. However, when I attend a course I expect my teacher to have years of knowledge and experience behind them.

A few months ago Robert called me up and said "I've been thinking that we should do a swap. You can attend one of my courses and I'll get two facial rejuvenation treatments from you. Have a look on my website and see what course you want to do". Please note that Robert DID NOT ASK if I would like to do a swap. He TOLD ME to do it. I don't like to be told what to do.

A month later we bumped into each other at the clinic and he brought it up again. In my head I was wondering why he wanted to do this swap and innocently thought that he might not have that many attendees on his courses and wanted to up the numbers. Naive, Helena, naive! This time he said "We have to do that swap. I want to see what you're doing" And then he smirked. Big mistake, Robert. Big mistake! Now I knew that all he was after was to nick my techniques since he himself had only attended a one-day course in facial rejuvenation whereas I did a full on diploma course, four days in college followed by three months of home study, six case studies, a written essay and an exam. I was annoyed but still didn't manage to say no.

Since then I have tried to avoid him hoping that the subject was going to be forgotten about. Well, a week ago we bumped into each other again and of course it was being brought up. This time I told him that I did not want to do this swap because I thought it was uncool of him to try and get my techniques and then go on to teach. Wwwwooooooo!!! That did not go down well. And I'm assuming that it didn't go down well because he was fully aware that I was right. He started telling me that he has been soooo kind to me (eeehh, yeah, you asked me to cover four shifts for which I paid you the room rent) and how could I not do this for him since he's been so good to me?! He then went on to lecture me about how it's all about giving and receiving and the importance of keeping a balance between the two. I was gobsmacked. I'm usually quite quick in my response but to this I couldn't get a word out. How dared he portraying himself as a good-hearted saint and myself as the ungrateful bitch?!

Later I was stewing in my treatment room thinking about what I should have said. Things like: I know the art and the beauty of giving and receiving. It's when you give without expecting anything back. Give without any ties. And it's when you receive without having the feeling that you must give something back. Think about that, Robert!

Yesterday I went to Caffe Nero for a coffee and two elderly ladies asked if they could share my table. Of course they could. As they sat down I stood up to clear the table from empty cups the previous customers had left behind. One of the ladies thought that I was leaving but I told her that I was just clearing away the rubbish for them. The look on her face... her jaw dropped and she thanked me so much. I thought to myself that such a small act of kindness could be so appreciated. After we'd finished our coffees she asked me if I wanted another one. My first instinct was to say no thank you. But then I thought about giving and receiving and how it's important to accept a gift in order for the other person to feel happy about giving. So I accepted.

One of the ladies had bought a sandwich but couldn't finish it all so she wrapped her leftovers in a napkin and was going to take it home. They both left before me and when it was my turn to leave I realised that her sandwich was still on the table. I put it in my bag and as I walked past the bus stop there they were. When I fished the sandwich out of my bag the old lady couldn't contain herself. She was absolutely delighted. Bless her! The rest of the evening I couldn't stop thinking about how I had experienced the true feeling of giving and receiving with no expectations and what a great day it had been thanks to it.

Before I went to bed last night I got my angel cards out and asked if there was anything the Angels wanted to tell me about the day. Guess which card came flying out of the pack? "Giving & Receiving"! Say no more.