Is This Guy For Real?

When you're registered on Match.com you get five randomly selected "matches" every day. I don't know what they base these matches on because so far nothing has matched at all! I mean, I couldn't believe it when I read this guy's profile below. Is he for real?!

You see too many introductions which come out with the same old rubbishy statements like 'The most difficult thing is how to describe yourself' and 'I like to curl up on the sofa and watch DVDS, go walking in the park, and order up half-baked listeria infected pizza from the local takeaway some evenings and watch TV' What a load of old cobblers! Stand out from the crowd, why don't you.

Well , I know fine well what my admirable characteristics are. Here goes: 1. Total confidence in the superiority of my intellect, education, and knowledge. 2. Intolerance of foolish, stupid people. 3. Ruthless ambition. 4. An ability to earn lots of money, and to enjoy it! 5. Drinking fine champagnes in clubs in London, in front of poor, less fortunate people who cannot afford it. 6. The glee from stocking my wardrobe with the finest suits that money can buy. I love Jermyn St. 7. Contempt for political correctness, and those who hide behind it and can't think for themselves about the innate worth of people. I think Rabbie Burns beat you by about 200 years in saying a man's a man for a' that, you idiotic fools. 8. My disdain for people who can't tell right from wrong, and make lamentable excuses about how society has affected people one way or another for the worse. Grow up, and get on with it. And don't use the 'failure' of society to justify being paid buttons in a dead-end job. 9. Appreciation for women who like to emulate the above characteristics. 10 .Contempt for losers in life who wallow in self-pity, and whine about how they have brought it all on themselves. No one said life was going to be put on a plate for you!! Wakey, wakey! 11. I permit myself an eleventh characteristic, which is sarcasm and contempt for people of low IQ. My role models in life are: 1 The Master from Doctor Who. A true genius of malevolence and self-preservation against the odds. 2. The Romulans from Star Trek (devious, predictably treacherous, ruthless and ambitious) 3. Napoleon Bonaparte (with phrases like 'Men are led by toys' and 'L'etat, c'est moi!' - Brilliant) 4. Richard III, last Yorkist Kind of England. Ruthless, and ambitious to the end. Fantastic. 5. Sir William Wallace (born one mile from my hometown) 6. Sir Fred Goodwin (born one mile from my hometown) 7. Machiavelli for that fine training manual, the prince! 8. Robert the Bruce - winning against the odds eventually, and crushing the army of a weak English King, who couldn't lace the boots of his formidable father. King Edward I, though an enemy of Scotland, was a worthy one and one of the greatest, power hungry kings England ever had. I salute him! 9. JR Ewing 10 . Julius Caesar. Edmund Blackadder nearly got on the list! And remember, the Emperor in the Star Wars movies was played by Ian McDiarmid, a fellow Scot. The way of the future, hopefully! I am fiercely loyal to my friends and family, and hate lies and double dealing. Like most Scots, we make great friends and would do anything for you, but really vicious and nasty enemies when provoked (but not in a violent way!). We have long memories about bad-manners. Similarly, I hate mind-games and ambiguity. Don't waste my time with emotional indecision. I don't do second chances, fortunately. If I get messed around, it will mean a red-card without warning. I like talking about history, culture, travel, sport and a wide variety of subjects. Big Brother isn't really my thing! Hopefully, we can enjoy many stimulating hours of conversation. If you can deal with the challenge of the above, then you are the right woman for me. Looks are relatively unimportant, because we all lose them to some extent eventually, and some things are more valuable. Intelligence, ambition, and direction in life are much more attractive, ultimately. If you would like to share pink champagne with me, then perhaps you might find I have a humble, caring side underneath. I'll let you decide, and hopefully we can have fun along the way!

Would you like to share pink champagne with this bloke? My gosh, I certainly wouldn't.